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Atheists & Fertilizer

Mike MinterCultureOctober 1, 2010 Leave a comment0

Atheists & Fertilizer

Remember when Bill Maher, the political satirist and comedian, accused former Vice President Dick Cheney of lying? Coinciding with his attack on Cheney’s character was Tiger Woods’ confession of adultery. Both Maher and Woods are atheists. All atheists believe that we are nothing more than chemicals wrapped in skin. We do what we do based on chemical reactions driven by random electrical stimuli.

So if I understand these men correctly, the human race is made up of six and half billion bags of fertilizer. My question is this: If one bag of fertilizer thinks that lying is wrong, what right does that bag have to impose its moral standards on another bag that can’t help but lie because its chemical makeup dictates that it do so? And why would another bag publicly confess to having numerous affairs with other bags? Is not such a confession implying that it is wrong to behave in such a manner?

And are there not other “God-denying” bags that think killing and stealing is wrong? Seven out of the Ten Commandments have to do with moral values. Tiger, Bill, and like-minded bags seem to be pushing their moral values on the rest of us sad sacks. Strangely, when we try to return the favor with the same set of values we are called self-righteous, right winged fanatics. Do I detect a double-standard in which one set of bags has the right to inflict its moral standard on all other bags? Since Christian bags hold to the same value as atheistic bags , why are we marginalized and seen as judgmental?

Well, I must bring this to a close because the chemicals in this bag tell me that it is time to fertilize my lawn. As an aside, here is a helpful hint to have a great-looking lawn. Always buy the fertilizer with the highest moral standards – unless your chemical makeup tells you otherwise. The standards are written on the sides of each bag. The highest standards guarantee a thick, green, weedless lawn and that is the kind of lawn I like. So do atheists.

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